Alright I Need Some Serious Advice From A Different Perspective.?
Posted on 19. Feb, 2012 by admin in Uncategorized
Okay, I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible. My parents split up about a month ago and finally got divorced a little over a week ago. My father had originally lived in a hotel and then a couple of weeks ago got a trailer that he way paying off to own. During this time he had a “roommate” as he called her that lived with him (which we think is the cause of some of these problems). He has had money problems lately and to help him, he asked me to take out a few payday loans for him and he would pay them back. We did this twice. We asked him where all his money was going and he said it was none of our business. The other day he went into the hospital for heart trouble. He called my mother the other day and told her he was being put in rehab for cocaine addiction. From the time he was a teenager he was a drug addict and alcoholic. He has been sober over 10 years, hasnt smoked in over 2 and hasnt done any drugs since before my parents met in 1992. They had massive and vicious arguments and thats why they split up. They were both equally wrong. Now if you’ve read this far, heres the question.
Hes in rehab and has no place to go, he didnt pay his rent and he will soon be out on the street. I have another loan out for him that I now have to pay and also there are bounced checks that are on an account with our names on it that we also now have to pay. He’s been calling and begging us to let him sleep in our cars until he digs himself out this hole which is the exact words he used with me when I took out the first loan. We dont trust him anymore and refuse to let him.
He is still my father, am I wrong for not helping him?
7 Responses to “Alright I Need Some Serious Advice From A Different Perspective.?”
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*Cara*: Do whatever you can to stay away from those places...
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H A E
19. Feb, 2012
No, he is not your father. He is a drug addict. Two completely different people. You can’t trust him because, by definition, he’s untrustworthy. Ask the people at the rehab to try to set him up with living arrangements. They have staff for that.
Sakura Shaunessy
19. Feb, 2012
No.
You can’t help him.
He may say he’ll get better, but there are places he can go. Don’t give him anymore money at all.
Tell him you’ll give him some food and water. Wash his clothes. But that’s it.
No more, no less.
He can’t sell a banana at a pawn store.
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Also do NOT allow him near personal items. An addict will take and sell for drugs.
lady
19. Feb, 2012
No you are not wrong….He needs to earn your trust back and that can not happen if he is mooching off you. After rehab he can go to a half way house. Have him ask at the rehab center for a social worker to get assigned to him. They should be able to recommend places for him to go to after rehab is over. They can also help him find a job so he can learn to support himself…..and pay you back. Do not “forgive” his “loan”, he needs to be held accountable for his actions.
JMHO
An
19. Feb, 2012
Your father has many problems but he is still your father, you should help him no matter what. If you lost money, you can work hard and earn it back, but if you lost your father, no one can replace him. You could provide him a place to sleep, food, and emotional support as he really needs it now. People who are addicts usually have low self-esteem and multiple emotional problems that need hep. You can help him temporarily and make him find a job, don’t just loan him money. This is just my opinion, the decision is yours.
Serene E
19. Feb, 2012
sigh……..tough. It’s completely normal for you to feel betrayed, angry, ashamed and everything else.
But as to helping him, addiction isn’t a choice. Addicts hever get help until they hit rock bottom.
Look at whitney houston’s life. 15 years of living with Bobby Brown, addicted to drugs, he slapped her around and she couldn’t get clean.
I would be glad he’s gettig help and help him out as much as you can.
Mrs Salacious Crumb
20. Feb, 2012
it depends. you can look back on your life and judge if he was a good father or not.
you made a big mistake to lend him any money with out a big explanation – if it is not your business then its nothing to do with you – or your money.
good luck… and to him too.. sounds like he needs it.
Linda
20. Feb, 2012
Good Day My People Of China.
I am Mrs Linda lokunu from china, when i was in need of loan to pay my bill, my land lord was giving me a big problem on my house he all must Take me and My family to the police, so i went to look for loan and i was scam by those bad lender, some day ago i met a Good rev in my church which told me about this Good man Called Mr Cho and he Help me with my Loan, so if you are in need of any kind of loan just contact him now for your loan he will help you and if he ask you How did you get is contact just tell him that is Mrs.Linda from china so contact him now by mail.(namdackcho_financialinc@live.com)
Thank you and please be carefully of bad lender and make your life long.
i am say because this is they only God sent lender that i have met in my life, all the other are very bad people, so i will keep on telling people about this Good man, for the rest of my life and all Loan seeking should thank God by contact this God sent man Name Mr Namdack Cho
Regard Mrs.Linda.